j.e.m.r.q.

I can still smell you here while you're on the other side of the globe

deep

it's deep
my mind
and
my search
is

and
the forests
are deep

*

there
I'll tie
my
slender hands
to you

unit
unanimously
united

unification
unite
unity

to rain

cut out

refrain
vain
blame
stain
pain

retain
vail
gain
trail

(The order of the words can be different as the floating meaning remains. It's like the words that one randomly picks from a conversation which one vaguely follows.)

let the storm hit
I want it real

don't play it
don't pull those silly faces
don't look at others


let it be real

let it all be real

real

...
vanish in the autumn's mist
thick evening's air
so tear clear
fear
is what comes after
comes after me
goes after
or ahead
grows inside
or above
I tear
the gallons
and the seas
that do not belong to me
I borrow them
never return
home either
or do I not know time
yet

is it the howling winds of the nights or soothing
spells of the days that brought me up

they say I inherited fear

but in my dreams I'm still an explorer

someone else

it was only the leaves swirling in the wind that had color then
the rest was a mirage - objects with no clear shapes, colors or names

dream is not reality
and reality is not a dream

why chase one when you have another and vice versa
why someone else's cup of tea always tastes better

why the color of my eyes changes after each rain and never gets back to its original

I've sinned

could love be served straight?

tear clear

through poppy field I run
to catch and befringe

with tear clear thread

shadows of the cranes
heading south


after the last rain

ballad of my autumns

I heard pears falling onto my roof again
and saw the stars mirrored onto all other skies at once

three steps back, where..

where

where frozen smiles and joys were left to age
while tears and fears were tighten to my slender feet



now would I climb that roof again with

such

weight on me

shiver

when we talk about her
we talk less

something

please, turn me
inside
out

there is something missing

please, flip me
upside
down

there is something missing

please, get
in
and
out


there is something



missing



(visual from http://streetqueen.deviantart.com/)

last summer dance

here I am

my bare feet scuffle leaves on cold evening grounds
westerly wind curls eyelashes and tickles the back of my neck

I can hear the fox nearby


and


I am finally ready for it


me and the other half of my shadow will dance to celebrate the secrets and sorrows of this grand summer

I wish that all the waters would stop flowing for that moment filled with stubborn grace

I'll tell you all my secrets if you'll tell me one of yours.

now

'awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns. In this level of consciousness, sense data can be confirmed by an observer without necessarily implying understanding...'

(it is said so)

I think now I really know what awareness is.

shadow

when I was 15, my best friend was 18.
we sat in a big dark field of a strange foreign country and talked. she was saying then that materialistic things are meaningless. I remember strongly opposing her idea.

today I look around and count the items that I own.
tomorrow I'll give half of them away.
the day after I'll forget about them.

from then on my shadow will be much lighter.


visual borrowed from http://www.flickr.com/photos/manfredi90/3765607603/